It’s not all fairytales and happily ever afters
If you have found love online then you know it can be pure bliss. There is something incredibly gratifying about the struggle finally paying off. You now have a beau to show off and shut down all those haters with. However, do not let this new love blind you to potential relationship toxicity. No one wants to rain on your love parade, but it is important to acknowledge the fact that not all matches online are perfect. So here are a few red flags to look out for before you declare yourself 100% off the market.
Ten important red flags
1. If you are struggling with communication
That is a major red flag especially if your online relationship is also a long-distance one. Maybe one of you is not very open about what they want or expect from the relationship. Or it could be that there isn’t enough consistency in your interaction. If it is happening this early, it will only get worse once the novelty of new love wears off.
2. The I word: infidelity
Hate to sound like a cynical, but if they cheat once, there is always a good chance that they will do it again. That is, therefore, a major red flag that you truly cannot afford to ignore.
No one can tell you what to do in the event you find out that they are cheating. After all, every relationship is different. However, should you decide to give it another try you will have to work on honesty, trust, and communication to keep it from happening again.
3. Any kind of abuse
With online dating, emotional and psychological abuse are the most common types you have to look out for. It usually starts out small with subtle attacks on your insecurities. As soon as you see the first signs of this, you need to remove yourself from the situation.
4. Your friends and family don’t like him/her
Sometimes the critics are right and truly are looking out for your best interests. There are of course times when friends and family have baseless arguments in which case feel free to ignore. For example, if their issue is something like race, nationality or anything of the sort, then they shouldn’t matter. However, if they have reservations about things like your beau’s character, then you need to listen. It is for your good.
5. You keep editing your relationship’s public image
Sometimes friends and family will love your partner not because of who he is but because of what you tell them. If you find yourself telling half-truths and editing what you show them, then there is something wrong with that relationship.
6. Non-compromising behavior
Online relationships require a lot of compromise and sacrifice especially if there is distance involved. There is a lot to be concerned about if you find that you are the one always breaking your back to make things work. If this is the case, then you might want to explore new options because it will not get any better.
7. Unwillingness to commit
Do not allow yourself to be dragged along on a ride whose destination is unclear. If a guy or a girl says they just want to have fun and are not ready to commit exclusively to you, then you need to kick rocks. The chances are that they will continue using you and enjoying emotional, financial or even physical boyfriend/girlfriend benefits without doing any of the hard work.
8. Insecurity and lack of trust
When you do not trust your partner or vice versa, then there is a huge likelihood of things turning toxic. It doesn’t matter whether the insecurities have a foundation or not. Address the issue or break up; there is no other way out.
9. They are cagey about their past
That is a major red flag that could have serious repercussions if ignored. Yes, people do change, but if they have truly done so, they should be willing to open up about their past. It is important to give the other person time to reckon with their issues and come to you when they are ready. However, if it seems to be taking too long, it is probably best to move on.
10. Your gut is telling you something isn’t right
Sometimes the biggest red flags are the most subtle. It will be a nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach that something doesn’t add up with this person. If you feel that way, then run for the hills and do not look back. You do not need any proof or validation here because after all is said and done our primal instincts rarely fail us.