Online Dating Tips

8 Successful Online Dating First Message Ideas

8 Awesome First Message Ideas For Online Dating

So it’s a match!

Finding a match on online dating sites can be the most flattering and exciting experience. It means someone out there is as interested in you as you are in them. However, getting that glorious popup of your faces together does not mean that the fight is over. The journey has just begun.

How you choose to initiate conversation with the person you are interested in makes all the difference. All the work you put into setting up a killer profile and intriguing bio description could be undone with a simple hello. So you need to be careful with your choice of starter messages. To help you out, here are eight awesome ideas to try out and three horrible ones to avoid at all costs.

Eight ways to get started an online dating discussion

start a conversation online dating

A knock-knock joke

A knock-knock joke is a nice and simple way to get a person’s attention and initiate some back and forth banter. What is awesome about these jokes is the fact that they involve the other person’s participation. Once you break the ice with this, there will be enough of a sense of familiarity to carry out a good conversation. Just make sure that the joke is funny.

Ask a serious question

Instead of going the well-traveled comic route, you could surprise your match with a serious question. Ask about their views on something like global warming, fur or even pineapples on pizza. Yes, that last one counts as a serious question too. However, first make sure form the person’s profile that they are up for such depth so soon.

An iconic movie or TV show quote

Quotes are a great way to start a conversation if you get clues from their bio that they are interested in a specific movie or TV show. If they like it as much as they claim to this approach will get you further than all those boring people on their profiles leading with ‘Hey there.’

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A cheesy pickup line

Pick up lines are always a gamble when it comes to striking up a conversation in online dating. However, if used correctly they could be the fuel you need to propel your interactions from a simple match stage to acquaintances. The important thing here is to ensure that you do not go with the boring old washed up lines that they are probably getting from 4 other matches at the same time. Think outside the box (I mean look it up on the internet) and find something that will catch the person’s attention.

A question based on something from their profile

This trick is another one that allows you to create an air of familiarity for an easier flow of conversation. Take your time to go through the profile and find things you could ask about. It could be anything from the story behind that subtle tattoo to the meaning of that cryptic quote on their bio.

A tasteful compliment

A compliment will get you a long way with online dating. However do not focus so much on what you like about them physically that you end up coming across creepy. You should also be very careful not to cross the very fine line between being sweet and being rude.

Take the cute and cocky route with a witty statement

It could be something like “Guess whose lucky day it is? Yours. You’re welcome”. This confident approach usually works but could also fail massively. So it is always a gamble you need to be sure you are ready to make.

Comment on something you noticed you have in common

Maybe you can tell from his/her bio that you both like the outdoors or reading or even dogs. Leading with what you have in common with each other gives you a great place to start a meaningful conversation.

Three lines to avoid at all costs

In addition to the eight awesome lines, you should try, there are three that need to be avoided no matter what. The reason is that they are boring, overused and quite frankly annoying to reply to. Here are the three most forgettable opening messages that will leave you without a reply.

  1. Hey there
  2. How are you/ how’s it going/ how’s your day?
  3. Cliché pickup lines like “did it hurt when you fell from heaven angel?”


With all this information, you should have a pretty fair shot at the girl of your dreams or that unicorn of a man who chose you back. Just remember to avoid cliché, learn the art of moderation and be calm.