Cheating is probably one of the most devastating blows that any relationship can receive. Whether or not you saw it coming, there is no downplaying the feelings of hurt and betrayal that you are bound to experience.
Figuring it out by yourself and early has been shown to lessen the blow for many. That way, you are not blindsided, and you have time to get your ducks in a row to leave or stay.
So how do you find this out when most cheaters have mastered the art of deception and would rather go through a full torture session than admit the truth?
The answer is simple – you need to be vigilant. More often than not, there are many cheating signs pointing to infidelity all around you. You just have to open your eyes to the truth.
Here are the most common signs that your partner may be cheating on you.
Inexplicable tardiness or absences
When you suspect infidelity, tardiness and inexplicable absences are a red flag. Suddenly they are staying late at work, traveling more, or spending more time at the gym, and you know for a fact that this isn’t the norm for them.
There is, of course, the chance that they are actually staying late for work, but it is always a good idea to look into it if you don’t buy the excuses.
Phubbing is what the cool kids on the block are now calling phone addiction. If your partner suddenly cannot put their phone down, then this could be one of the many signs of cheating. They are usually either communicating with new flames or looking for them online.
Weird phone call habits
Is she suddenly receiving calls at weird times of the night? Is she unwilling to pick up certain phone calls when you are in the room with her? Whatever it is you notice, this could be one of the signs your wife is having an affair. People who are cheating get very dodgy with their phone habits.
Sudden disinterest in the relationship
If your partner seems disconnected from you or there is no more communication in your couple, then you may be in trouble and have a cheater on your hands.
The disconnect is most evident if they seem happy and excited about everything else other than your relationship. If you aren’t making them happy, you better believe there is someone else out there doing your job for you.
Unwillingness to introduce you to friends and family
Unwillingness to involve one’s family is usually a sign that you are the side-piece. The family has met the main girlfriend or boyfriend, and your partner knows that introducing you will only raise questions. So if you have been dating for a long time and he/she hasn’t exposed you to this side, then you might want to start packing.
Clues from their friends
Your significant other’s friends sometimes know more about them than you do. So if they start acting all weird and detached, it could be that they are preparing themselves for the storm they know is coming. Some might even be kind enough to warn you about their pal’s misadventures, so you better listen!
They keep lying about one thing or another
Being caught lying over and over again is usually one of the signs you’re being cheated on. A person who is that comfortable spewing out lies is usually more likely to step out and play around.
It could be a secret bank account or a profile on a cheating dating site like AshleyMadison, AdultFriendFinder, or others. Whatever it is, the fact that they are actively hiding it from you should raise questions. With the last one, you have things like emotional infidelity and micro-cheating to worry about as well.
A significant history of infidelity
Everyone has a past and deserves a second chance. However, a leopard rarely changes its spots. If your partner callously cheated on past lovers, you might be the next one on his/her hit list.
Your intuition tells you something isn’t right
Sometimes your gut tells you something is wrong even without evidence. These are usually super subtle clues that your subconscious has picked up on. So if you get a feeling that your partner is cheating or micro-cheating, do not ignore it.
Their appearance suddenly improves
This is a little more on the subtle side, and you may have to be eagle-eyed to pick up on the hints. Maybe it is that extra bright color of lipstick she has started to wear. Or it could be that he has started putting on his dressier shirts for everyday errands or to work.
Taking better care of themself and dressing differently are usually signs of a cheater. This often indicates they are trying to impress someone new. It is also worth noting that this happens with both physical and emotional infidelity.
A change in your sex routine
After being together for a long time, you will unwittingly find yourselves settling into a sex routine. This includes timing, positions, and kinks you are willing to explore and have become comfortable with.
If your partner starts to step out on you, you will notice a shift in energy as far as boudoirs activities are concerned.
Maybe he doesn’t want to be touched or to get intimate anymore. It could be that she is unusually enthusiastic and more willing to try something they were previously uncomfortable with.
Whatever the case, if your bedroom habits change overnight, there might be a reason for concern.
They suddenly become angry and frustrated with you
Your spidey senses should also start to tingle if you notice that your partner’s mood towards you has changed towards the negative. They may seem more easily agitated with the littlest of things.
This is because people who cheat tend to have a lot of pent up frustration from the guilt, and they subconsciously end up picking petty fights, looking for a way to justify their actions in their minds.
Regular periods where you can’t reach them or know where they are
Yes, we all have our lives, and our schedule and relationships should not take away from that. However, it is an unspoken rule among couples that you and your partner should, at the very least, have an idea where the other is.
You should start to get a little suspicious if you notice that your partner is more secretive than usual about their whereabouts. They may give vague answers about how their day went or who they were with. They may go silent on you, where you were otherwise flooded with calls or text. Whatever it is, this change is definitely a red flag.
Weird charges on your credit card statements
This is one of the oldest tricks in the book when it comes to busting a cheating partner. If you have access to each other’s records, look out for suspicious charges. These include large restaurant bills as well as payments for gifts like jewelry, cologne, or something you didn’t receive.
If you find something that can’t be easily explained, this could be yet another sign of a cheating partner in a relationship.
There’s no intimacy anymore
Infidelity takes a huge toll on intimacy way before the truth comes out. It is the little things that go first like your playful kisses, fun cuddles, and hand-holding when you are out and about.
In addition to the physical intimacy, the emotional connection will also take a hit, and you will start to pick up on some distance that wasn’t there before.
When asked about cheating, they don’t give you a satisfying answer
Finally, you could figure out whether or not your partner is cheating by simply confronting them. It is important to note that you may not always get a direct confession. In fact, these rarely happen.
However, their denial could offer clues with more value than either of you know. If they seem a little too defensive or their explanations have major plot holes, you might be dealing with a cheater.
Time to hit the road Jack/Jill
After all is said and done, what you choose to do with the information you discover is entirely up to you. Maybe you want to stay. Perhaps you want to leave. Or maybe you want to slash their tires or throw all their clothes out.
Whatever your reaction is, the important thing is that you have the information to back up your suspicions.